Sunday October 31st 2021

What can happen will happen

Sunday night

This journey has not been easy at all. There have been more days out of the month that I’ve wanted to drop, cry and give up than good days. Don’t let me confuse you though, I am grateful for everything that I have because I do have a lot in life. However, I must let you know that I have been getting my ass handed to me. This nice, warm, cozy apartment that I have is bug infested and it’s the most embarrassing and uncomfortable experience.

I’m behind on every bill and I don’t have enough money coming in each month to take care of myself and keep more than three bills paid at once. I feel so empty. I just want to give up. I just want to go away. I want to go somewhere far from here where no one knows who I am, buy a new vehicle, buy a new home and stay inside.

I want to say all is well

So much is going wrong.

Keep it together

Some of my most difficult times have tested my ability to maintain composure. I’ve done so successfully. Being able to do so successfully does not married a moment of pride. It hurts me even more to endure those moments where I have to force myself to mask my pain.

I can handle things going wrong in my life. So many things are going wrong. The part that makes each circumstance break my spirit is having so few options afterward.

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